Oliver the Friend…Mending It

Friends are those people in your live that become your second family.  They are the ones outside of family that you spend the most time with.  They are the one that are there for other moments that your family can’t be at.  The best ones support, humble, and tell you like it is when you feel that you don’t need it.  They are the ones that care and want you to succeed and the ones that at your lowest point will be there.  Friends are important.  But those few friends; those true friends are the ones that everyone I believe need to find, have, and nurture.  Because they are the ones that will be there for you and surprise you the most.

Well a couple of years ago, I had one such friend.  Although I won’t disclose the details of what exactly happen ( that would just turn out to be a very stupid rant, that I would like to spare you ) but looking back at it now.  That friendship connection was lost all because of ME.  It was solely me and me along.  My friend / buddy, didn’t really need that from me especially at a time when we were good buds.  And if you are reading this, I’m SORRY.

I’m sorry for questioning our friendship.  I’m sorry for being stupid enough to think that you didn’t care.  I’m sorry for not realizing what you where really doing.  And I understand why you didn’t want to deal with it.  And know it was completely and utterly my fault.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago.  That friend that I mentioned, contacted me and wanted to hang out and catch up.  At this point, we both have started building amends and slowly building up the friendship again.  But just like all friendships that start, it does take time to build it again.  Especially with the way that I acted.

When we met up.  I was freaking nervous as HELL.  I didn’t know what to expect.  I didn’t know of the old scares would be brought up or if there was still some anger there.  But time and time again from what I learned from the World Domination Summit; I had to be vulnerable and see what happen.  Let what was about to happen, happen.  And just go through it.  Face the fear and uncertainty in the face.

So with the text sent, I had to make the phone call.  The reason being was because I was lost in trying to find he’s apartment.  And nervously I waited for the phone to be answered. And when it did.  With a split second heath, I said; Hey dude.  And I got a response of hey.  After a minute or two of orientation of where exactly I was, we met up.  And with a hand shake, everything seem well.  And it was well.  Nothing but a warm welcome and a good conversation.

As we chatted it looked and felt like we just left off where we ended or temporary put on hold our friendship.  At least on my part there was still a bit of nervousness because I just didn’t know.  But slowly I eased into the conversation and it felt like old times.  The conversation of what was going on in our lives and what trips and photos we took recently.  And also catching up on how some mutual friends are.  I totally felt bad for the amount of time that we didn’t speak to on another.  I couldn’t help but think of the adventures we would have been on since then.

Now not stewing on what ifs or should have beens, I took this opportunity as a new way to start the friendship over again.  I truly do hope that our friendship continues.  It would be nice to have that again.  Relive that one.  It was good friendship and one that because of stupid things had a bumpy road.  But I’m glad that we are able to be friends again.

Here’s a few pieces of advice if you are having difficulty with some friends:

  1. Think about what really is going.  See if there is an external reason causing any of the hardship.  And look for it because usually there is.
  2. Be HONEST.  Seriously this may be hard but you’ll need to face at one point or another.  Do it sooner than later because later words that you don’t mean come out and just make things more complicated.
  3. If you have more than one friend that is still encouraging you to salvage the friendship, trust them, and see if it can be salvage.
  4. Friendships are relationships and it might take some time to mend and strains but if it truly worth it do give up.
  5. And if all else fails, YOU have to, as cleanly as possible END IT.

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