Oliver the Friend…Reconnecting

The last week and half, I’ve had a great time hanging out with friends that I haven’t talked to in a while.  It was great to reconnect with them and see what’s new and what’s going on.  The cool thing about this is that we were still friends.  We caught up, we chatted, and we chatted for a couples of hours.  The act of reconnecting with them is great.

Life does get in the way.  But does it really?  I think opportunities such as meeting up with friends and catching is part of life.  It is understandable that priorities change and sometimes friends / friendships do get put on the way side.  That’s that life.  However I have found that to rekindle such a friendship or at least let them know that you are there and still thinking about them, is by just taking a minute or two to say hello.

Here is where connecting is important.  If you really want to reconnect with someone, make it happen rather than wait for it to happen.  Usually what I like to do is every once in awhile when I have chatted or heard from friends, is to contact them any way necessary.  Traditionally I use Facebook, Twitter, and email to check in with them.  I usually use one or another depending on how I know best works for them.  I know you may ask, why not call them?  Well that’s something that I have to work on.  And the main reason that I don’t do that is that I don’t like it with I just want to say and hello and they are in the middle of something.  It just becomes awkward for them and myself.  So instead I use the previously mentioned communication tools to reconnect so they can do it at their own leisure.  And it guess in a way is that it is a “test” if the friendship is still there.  And more times than not it is still there.

Reconnecting with these friends over the last few days have been great.  It is cool to see that they are doing well and doing their own thing.  There is nothing more exciting than seeing a friend do something that they mentioned to you previously and now you come to find out that they are doing it.  To me that is just cool.

Also when you do catch up with them it gives them an opportunity to see what’s going with you.  They catch up about you too and they get to ask the questions that they want answered about you.  So that’s great.  Friends really do care about you and they will ask questions to see what is up with you.

Friendships are based on relationships.  Just like every one of them, you have to seek them, connect them, nurture and foster them, and drop in every once in awhile to see how it coming along, check in with them.  Friendships are easily enough to make but keeping them is where the work happens.  Yes, friendships are work.  And it is the ones that you care for the most that do take work.  You have to maintain them and support them.  Unlike a lot of things, you may or may not have to check in consistently but you will have to be pretty good at checking in every once in awhile.  And when is that you may ask, well that’s up to you.  I usually try to do it every month or so.  You’ll most likely get a Facebook post, tweet, or e-mail from me.  And usually I say, just dropping in to say hello.  But it does take work.  Note, that the “work” isn’t what it sounds like.  It means that it requires the care to want to maintain that friendship.

I do feel bad when I don’t keep in touch with friends.  But I do care for them greatly.  I miss those times of hanging out.  But I also understand that we each have our own lives and that we have to live them.  What’s important to note is that we at least keep each other informed of what’s going on.  And maintain a friendship is easy enough with the things we have these days.  All it will take is a, quick, “hey buddy, how are you?  Hope all is well.” in some form to show that care.  But you have to genuine about it.  You CAN’T just do it for doing it, you have to really WANT TO and CARE about it.

So to reconnect with friends, start with the same way that you met, SAY HELLO.  And let the friendship continue.  🙂

Thanks to all my buddies that I have caught up with recently.  I appreciate our friendship and wish you all the best in your endeavors.  Drop me a line sometime and we grab a beer and food.  Keep in touch.  Cheers!

 

One thought on “Oliver the Friend…Reconnecting

  1. Joe says:

    “Friendships are easily enough to make but keeping them is where the work happens” – This is a lesson I had to learn the hard way. Thankfully, technology has made it easier and gives us more choices than in the “old days”

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